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| English: A metaphorical visualization of the word Anger. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
Anyone who knows me knows I have a simmering
anger issue that I have struggled to get a handle
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| English: Victimization has been described as an invasion into the self of the victim - with an allegory that a person is like an onion, victimization is like a needle or sword penetrating the system, at times to the core. Illustration by Ologe Iyinoluwa. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
on. Anyone who knows me also
knows the 'advice' I usually get involves 'forgive the other person and move
on'. The problem with this is that even in forgiving the other person I am
still the victim. Forgiveness implies that two people did a wrong to each other
and one should be the bigger person in the situation and let the incident go.
They should not become a victim of themselves by being angry. Forgiveness on a
level playing field is a fine and noble thing. Yet, I have be victimized by
people whom I loved and trusted not to victimize me. It was not a level playing
field and I can only stop being a victim if I preserve my right to call a spade
a spade.
Exploitation
is not just a forgivable act because people who have a pattern of victimizing
people by exploitation do so out of an excessive sense of entitlement. Unless
you stop letting them victimize you then you become part of the problem. You
keep the knowledge and the anger to yourself. Then end result means you stand
idle while the victimizer sets up the next victim. Knowledge is power and
sharing the knowledge of your own victimization can possibly spare the next
person. Sharing the knowledge will most likely not get you the justice you
seek. Women who are victims of sexual exploitation tend to ooze a submissive
nature that allows them to not only continue to be victims but to also be
victimize by a social system that has little interest in protecting them. We
live in blame the victim society. Still in order not to be consumed by anger
and then risk becoming victimizers are selves we need to seek justice even if
we are denied it. This is especially true in the case of sexual exploitation.
It
is almost cliché to note that the most aggressive people who sexually exploit
others were victims themselves. There anger is projected at exploiting others
and victimizing them as a way of seeking peace. It is as if by becoming the
abuser they can give up the anger at being abused. . I for one do not want to
be this person in the end so I am directing my anger towards the people who
victimized me. I will tell my story to all that will listen. I will try to make
them accountable for victimizing me even if it is a round about way. I will not
go sit quietly in the corner . I will not just arbitrarily forgive. I will not
longer be a victim.
There
is a fine line between revenge and seeking personal justice. I may cross it at
times. Yet I am a person of worth who had the right not to be victimized and
exploited by people who said they loved me. I have a right to seek justice even
if I attain little in actuality. I am not sitting in the corner waiting for the
next victimizer to come along and exploit the little self worth I have left. I
am not contributing to their next act exploitation by sitting silent. If in the
end there is not a grain a justice attained at least I tried and that is my
first step of freeing myself from the cycle of abuse.
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