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| English: This protester was on his own and letting Minnesota state Senators know his position on gay marriage. This is freedom of speech in action. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
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| English: Map showing the legal recognition of same-sex relationships in the United States. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
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| Crowd in support of Gay Marriage (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
We all can have a
dichotomy between issue we support politically and our personal view point.
This is certainly true in my view of gay marriage. Go out on the Internet and
you can find all the argument pro and con based on view points of civil rights
and fear of what gay marriage will mean to society at large.
I support Gay marriage. I have had long term lesbian
relationships. I have had a civil union ceremony. My view point has always been
we should not be institutionalizing the bastardization of the children brought
up in gay unions.
Having said this; my personal viewpoints have changed
somewhat over the years because of my personal experience. It is simply this.
So many GLBT people enter adulthood scarred because of institutionalized
bigotry. Many have lost their families, friends, and job even when they have
come out. Their lives even today in a more progressive world live always in the
fear of to tell or not to tell. Those of us who live in the conservative Midwest face discrimination on a daily basis; at work,
school , and in church communities. Given this few of us in my experience; end
capable of productive long term relationships. Simply, gay marriage is not for
me or many people I know. We are haunted with our own issues of acceptance or
sexual identity and cannot really have successful traditional long term
relationships.
Thing is it is not our fault. Heterosexuals with a sky
rocketing divorce rates fall short in honoring the tradition of marriage as
well. They are scarred by the remnants of the social upheavals of the sixties
and changing social mores' leave monogamy pretty much as a dead value;for a
large percentage of the population. I, guess I fear our courts will now be
overwhelmed with divorces and custody battles from another ten percent of the
GLBT population. In some ways our society is not ready for an onslaught from
another corner of the "I cannot honor commitment” part of the population.
Still we need equality more then we need to have our courts not
overwhelmed with a whole new group of people engaged in nasty divorces. This is
the only step that would help produce a GLBT community that is really ready to
honor marriage by producing people with the integrity to stay in committed
relationships. It is a step we need for our community to heal and to grow up. A
generation of GLBT people who do not feel like secondary citizens will be ready
to honor properly the institution of marriage.
Sometimes social progress causes additional social
problems. Men learned it was ok not to take responsibility for their children
when the feminist movement spread the message "We don't need a man to have
a child." The message should have been "We need to be equal partners
with men to raise properly a child." It got lost somewhere in the social
turmoil of the movement and now we are paying a huge price is some many homes
where the father is just missing. The ramifications caused a new and in someway
bigger social issue. Sometime in social evolution is just is two steps forward
and three steps back.
The solution is and will come in new social constructs
that look beyond race, gender and sexual orientation and teach people that they
should want and are obligated to society to be productive adults who is they
are able bring up children in stability. We will get this new message across,
but it will take time. Bible banging the public at large with outdated and
disprove social theories will do nothing to stop the tragedy of divorce or
single parent household regardless if they are heterosexual or homosexual. We
need morality taught out of a completely different social construct. I have no
idea what it will be , but like racism , a new viewpoint that becomes wide
spread in it's acceptance will in the end define marriage for everyone in terms
that better serve our society.
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